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Living (Food) Will

I got this  from my Dad.  Feel free to edit the checklist as I did.  Seriously, folks, you never know what will happen!

I, ____________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.  Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
___a Martini
___a Margarita
___a Scotch and soda
___a Bloody Mary
___a Gin and Tonic
___a Glass of Shiraz
___a Steak
___a Lobster  or some crab legs
___ a bowl of pasta

it should be presumed that I won’t ever get any better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature:___________________________________________ Date: ___________

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